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09

Feb

Anonymous asked: i just recently had an abortion over the weekend and it was great that i had access to it, without it my boyfriend and i would of had to drop out of college and ruin our lives but apparently abortion is sooo wrong when its not even a baby, its a parasite made of cells that have no feelings that is leaving my body, people like you make me sick‏

alwaysabeautifullife:

When I first read this post, I thought I would just delete it like the rest. I know your intentions were to cause me suffering, and if causing me suffering means you win, then I guess you have. To be honest, lying in this hospital bed, it is young women like you that I think about the most.

I was once like you. I was once told that aborting my children was the answer to my life. I was once told that my boyfriend too would have to drop out of the University he attended, and I wouldn’t be able to attend the following year after I graduated from High School. The funny thing was, because of my son, my ex-boyfriend and I qualified for several grants and scholarships. In fact, I’m one of the few people I know that was able to go to school without taking out student loans. Which is probably why I’m a home owner at 26.

I was once like you. “Its a clump of cells,” they told me. “Its a parasite,” they said. When scientifically speaking, that’s inaccurate. It is a fetus, or an unborn human being. I know a human becomes easier to kill once you label it something else. This is called dehumanization. You don’t need to dehumanize the unborn human being, you can just call it what it is; you aborted an underdeveloped human being.

As I look into my sons eyes, I don’t see a parasite, or a clump of cells. I see a brown haired, fair skin, goofy 8 year old human being. I see a human being with the exact same body as the one they called a parasite when it was in my womb. His body grows a little more every year, and every year he gets stronger. “Mom, let me help you with that.” he says, as I struggle to carry bags into the house. “Mom, wait, I’ll get it for you,” he says, as he jumps in front of me to reach for the door to open it. His body is more developed, that’s for sure, but it it the same as it was when it was tiny and growing inside me.

I was once like you. “It will ruin your life,” they said. “You’re a child yourself”, they said. That’s the strangest. As I lie in this hospital bed, at risk of death, I have no fear. I am 26 years old, and have absolutely nothing more that I could ask for to make me happier. If keeping my son ruined my life, then why do I have everything I want? Why am I so content with my short life, if it was ruined the day he was born? The love and happiness I have experienced in my short life, is enough to feel fulfilled, complete. My life is beautiful, and my children were the ones that made it that way.

When I cry, my children burry their heads on my chest, wipe my tears with their tiny fingers. When I smile, they run to me, wrap their arms around me, lean back and giggle. What have they destroyed in my life besides all that was bitter, hateful and selfish? Besides all those awful parts of me they peeled away with their tenderness, and gentleness.

I’m sorry that when you terminated your pregnancy, you felt nothing, and I’m afraid that is where we are different. I couldn’t bring myself to dehumanize the tiny human being inside my body, even though it was under developed, dependent and inconvenient. I felt. And I’m the one who feels for you now. I can feel the loss for your unborn human being.

I know you assume I think I’m “better then you”. But it’s exactly the opposite. As I lay here in this bed, ready to give my life for the child inside of me right now, it isn’t just because its my child. It’s because it is a human being. I am willing to die for an underdeveloped, dependent and inconvenient human being, because that human is my equal. You are my equal, your child is my equal, and I don’t have it in me to view my life as more valuable then anyone else’s. I can’t use any reason to take an innocent human being, dehumanize it, and place it under me. And I don’t want to.

I’m sorry that people like me make you sick, but I think if you really new me, you wouldn’t feel that way. Maybe if you knew me, you could see that my life is beautiful and wonderful just like yours, and just like every human being. I believe that your life is precious, and you were made for more love then you comprehend, and I’m so sorry you can’t see the value of life.

Life is precious. It is a divine right, it is so precious that I would be willing to die if that is the cost for another to live.

Months from now, I hope that you read this and I’m living with my new beautiful child, in my modest house, with the rest of my family, but if I’m not, I want you to remember that it made me happy to risk my life for another human being, and I would gladly do it even for someone who was sickened by me; I would even do it for you.

Life is invaluable.

29

Jan

When you make a mistake

Don’t lie to yourself. Admit that what you did was wrong.

Pray to the Lord for guidance and mercy.

GO TO CONFESSION.

and don’t beat yourself up over your mistakes.

Start over. Make the CHOICE to change, and accept the necessary grace. No pity party. Make the choice, avoid the near occasion of sin, and try your best.

the end.

15

Jan

SORE FROM WORKIN OUT!

It’s the best.

13

Jan

The first Juice!

I made Joe Cross’ “Mean Green” Juice which contains:

  •  1 cucumber
  • 4 celery stalks
  • 2 apples
  • 6-8 leaves kale (Australian tuscan cabbage)
  • 1/2 lemon
  • 1 tbsp ginger

Let me tell you….. this was the WRONG choice for a first time juicer! And my prediction earlier basically came true…. it tasted like I was drinking algae from a pond. I don’t regret it though!

After doing a bit of research about juices for beginning juicers I found a lot that have more fruit and then slowly work the kale in a leaf at a time (instead of 6 huge kale leaves in your first juice.)

I am proud of myself for the progress I made today and for choosing to eat healthy for all of my meals. Day 1 = success! 

2014

This is a crazy big year for me.

I am about to begin my last semester at Franciscan University. Today marks the beginning on my semester of Student Teaching, continuing wedding preparation, and about 4 months till my wedding day!

I’ve made some “new years” resolutions… but they are more like life resolutions. With this crazy busy few months ahead of me, I need to get focused, organized, and disciplined. I’ve noticed an increasing amount of spiritual and physical laziness in my life that has been increasing in the last year. I made a lot of excuses, like I had to get enough sleep, I need to do homework, I need to work more, I don’t have enough time to pray, Mass is at an inconvenient time…. etc. 

I just don’t feel healthy and I need to spend time working on myself so I can be physically and spiritually healthy, for me and for my future spouse. I have dieted in the past and have been successful, but I want to have a continuing healthy lifestyle. not just a healthy period in my life where I gain weight back and have to lose it again. I’ve noticed that physical and spiritual wellness are definitely linked and I am hoping by disciplining myself in both will get me back on track.

I also have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). My fiancé and I are doing NFP in preparation for our marriage, and it is absolutely imperative to exercise and eat a healthy diet in order to conceive children and keep PCOS symptoms under control.

SO with this being said…. I will hopefully be keeping myself even more accountable via tumblr and keeping a type of update-journal on here. Please keep me in your prayers!

PS…. updates to come real soon are my and my fiancés adventures with our new juicer…. which should be hilarious. I envision it tasting delicious, but in reality it will probably taste like grass. I’ll let you know. :)

06

Oct

Pray for everyone…

and do not be so prideful to think that you yourself will never make the same mistake, or commit the same sin, as another. 

We are all broken, and we are all in need of God’s grace. Without it we are nothing. 

I fear no evil,

for You are with me.

You set this table before my enemies.

You anoint me; You overflow my cup.

And they will follow me; your goodness, and Your love.

fatherangel:

Thomas Merton

fatherangel:

Thomas Merton

29

Sep

From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me O God

From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

And I shall not want, I shall not want
when I taste Your goodness I shall not want
when I taste Your goodness I shall not want

From the fear of serving others
From the fear of death or trial
From the fear of humility
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

okay seriously

Gave the Lord an hour of my time in adoration, and He used it to turn my life upside down and completely re-vamp my focus. Thank you, Lord.